.radio stations play really really awesome music all the time .the music scene in general is fantastic..concerts.local bands..etc .the food...i can eat whatever I want whenever I want. and discover new tastes..like a watermelon and feta cheese salad! yuumm .culture...i walked into a bar a couple of weeks ago and was shocked by the amount of different types of people that were there conversing, flirting and living peacefully. it exists people i promise. .2 story targets...enough said .close proximity to many things...art walks.ocean.parks.farmers markets .farmers markets..i can go to one almost every day if I wanted...and they have everything. including a tamale man.
and my new little neighboorhood is fantastic. a getaway, if you must from the city life...down to earth and homey. no cookie cutter houses. no girls in tight dresses with stripper heels. just normal people. with normal lives. living in a fun neighboorhood...a community.
the list shall continue to grow as I discover more and more...<3
Ever since arriving in San Diego, I have been dreaming ALOT and remembering ALL my dreams...my dreams have been strange, seeing people in them I haven't seen for years, odd circumstances,long winded, eerie and just down right weird. So one day I mention this to Irene (my roommate), and she matter-of-factly states "oh yea! sorry the dream catcher is in your room, you can take it out" "uhhh what does that mean?!" i ask...
she continues to tell me how she bought a dream catcher at the grand canyon last summer and it was in her room for awhile, but she said it was really messing up her dreams. she said she has always enjoyed dreaming, and remembers her dreams every night, but eventually her dreams just became too much for her to handle. and the only difference she could see was the dream catcher. so she moved it into the spare bedroom. this is where I sleep, what I now like to call, the dreamers lair...
So, last night I had a dream about an Indian...we were somewhere in the mountains and there was a ceremony going on. I was part of the ceremony. I was there because I wanted to know something, but couldn't come up with the question or maybe i didn't want to disturb the Indian I was with, so I never asked... This is all i really remember about the dream. when i woke up and as the day progressed i had this persistent feeling that this Indian had given me something...when I got home, and I saw the dream catcher on my closet door, I immediately knew the indian had given that to me in my dream...too crazy.
I was having crazy dreams before she told me about the dream catcher, but not before san diego, so there MUST be something to this dream catcher, right? but dream catchers are supposed trap your good dreams, so you remember them happily as you wake up and bad dreams are supposed to float down the feathers and disappear. my dreams have not been good or bad, just strange.
I haven't decided yet if I want to take the dream catcher out of the room. I am enjoying having dreams, even though they are strange and eerie, but I don't remember the last time I dreamt so much...i think its good to dream...I am thinking I should start a dream journal though because dreams escape your memory so quickly, and they are hard to put into words the longer you wait. i think it will be good to document them now especially since i won't have this dream catcher forever...such a fun adventure. stay tuned.
if you have never read a paulo coelho book you are truly missing out on one intellectual adventure...a quote from one of my favorites,by the river piedra, i sat down and wept,
"One doesn’t love in order to do what is good or to help or to protect someone. If we act that way, we are perceiving the other as a simple object, and we seeing ourselves as wise and generous persons. This has nothing to do with love. To love is to be in communion with the other and to discover in that other the spark of God."
I love love love music. Last week I went on a musical adventure with John Mayer. It was the second time I've seen him in concert, and let me tell you...he is AMAZING. I love how music can take you to a certain time or place in an instant. I thought I would share some of those songs of mine that spark instant memories. I like to call them the soundtracks of my life <3
My real first musical memories are of Annie, and Sound of Music. I could probably recite word for word every song in both of those movies today. They bring back great memories of my childhood, hanging out in my grandparents mansion (or what we thought was one)watching and performing the numbers over and over again for my loving grammie and grandpa. This is one of my favs.
Next up, would be anything Rolling Stones...I'm pretty sure if you asked me at the time if I could ever see myself LOVING the stones when I was older I would have laughed at you. Whether we were in the car, fighting over the music stations with my mom or doing chores around the house, the stones were always playing. Now that I am older, and wiser The Rolling Stones continues to be one of my favs and my go to band when I need a little music therapy. Here is one of my favorite stones songs. Beast of Burden. Makes me smile!
Ok, so if you know me. You know that I am a loyal hanson fan...yes hanson, mmmbop, long haired teeny bopper hanson. BUT they are not long haired or teeny boppers any longer and I still love love them. I got their first CD for my 10th birthday. I have seen them in concert twice, one being on my 23rd birthday,13 years after i received their first cd! They put on an AMAZING show, and if they didn't have the teeny bopper stigma that follows them and one had an open music mind I bet one would not even know they were listening to the mmmbop boys. This song is one of my favorites, I love the harmonica and the lyrics.
Switching gears a little...My sister and I used to dress up and perform these songs in front of a video camera, cuss words and everything. When I was in middle school I love the whole pop punk rock genre. Blink 182 being my absolute fav. My sis and I finally got to see them last year, and it was awesome. Their music will forever remind me of summers in colorado and rides to the beach in my cousins jeep.
Continuing with the pop phase in my life, I present Ms. Christina Aguilera. She rocks, and her stripped album was by far one of the best albums ever. My best friend and I in middle school saw her when she opened for TLC, and we totally rocked the orange genie pants and white tshirt. I saw her with my sister twice, and she can sing and put on a great show. This song is soooo good, and the act she put on during her live show for this song was unforgettable.
Now we can't complete the pop genre without my lover John Mayer. He is not only an amzing guitar player, but he also writes the most amazing songs. I am always at a loss when I hear his lyrics, sometimes thinking to myself he just took the words right out of my mouth. He has gotten me through some hard nights.
As I got into college, and surrounded myself with many different types of people my music choices changed. One of the bands that I will always associate with college is band of horses. Everytime this song comes on it takes me back to my sophomore year, sitting in the backyard with my roommates, eating dinner and enjoying life to the fullest. such a strong memory one song can bring back. I love it.
Another band that brings up some good memories would have to be the cold war kids, this song had to have been played at least 50 times a weekend. we drank, sang and danced to this song for over a year. it will always remind me of sloppy sabado.
im leaving out tons and tons of music, but this is what I have thus far. Maybe ill post more music at a later date. Music is my life. I listen to it constantly, in my car, at work, at home. I would much rather be listening to music then watching tv. If you have an interest you can become a listener of me on blip.fm. My dj name is sunshine33 and blip lots of music every week. I love it. til next time...
"Today, I was working in a coffe shop when 2 gay men walked in holding hands. As you might expect, heads started turning. Then a young girl at the table next to me asked her mom why 2 men were holding hands. Her mom replied, "Because they love each other."
its my grandpa's brithday today. love you grandpa!!
3 weeks ago my life plans once again crashed around me. this past year has been exhausting...i guess starting it off by leaving paradise wasn't exactly the precursor to a fantastic year, but i had some high hopes. a year is gone and up until 3 weeks ago I was "stuck" in the desert. I signed a year lease last october, and had pretty much understood that meant I would be there for at least that long...but then I quit my job at the country club (bc efff country clubs and their people) and I worked for an interior designer which was nice, but she didn't pay me. I was barely surviving. Along comes my sissylala with a GREAT job, a job I had my eye on this whole year. Finally, an in! Yea, well those people sucked too (not all of them) and I was out of another job 2 months later.
The little thing I didn't understand 3 weeks ago, has become much clearer as of lately. Losing that job opportunity became one of the best things that could have happened to me. I remember a year ago I was driving into the Coachella Valley from a couple weeks stay at my grandma's and I was on the phone with my sister...crying (more like balling) about how I hated it there and I never wanted to live in the desert, and what the CUSS was I supposed to do!? I swore to her I would be out in a year. And although I was there longer than a year, I still got out. How you ask? Pretty much by getting a good kick in the butt...After not getting the job at the CVA I figured what else do I have to lose, I have money saved and I have friends in San Diego, and well...why should I have to stay in a place I am less than fond of and one that i have no attachments to? It was scary, I don't really even think I knew what I was doing r what was about to happen. It all happened so fast, but the decision was made almost instantly. I was going to move to San Diego, and I have. I am staying with a good friend from college and through another good friend found an awesome job and with that my new adventure begins...my REAL sundrenched elsewhere. change is scary, but it is really really fun...COME VISIT!!
my recent trip to my college hometown of Santa Barbara, has made me slightly nostalgic and reflective...so things i have learned in the past year, post-college life:
.education begins with graduation .finding out what you don't love is easier than finding out what you do .everything is a lesson learned, and sometimes you learn them repeatedly. .try to stay busy .listen to good music .be observant of your new surroundings, pick out the good and bad and notate for future reference .you are the only one that can change if you are unhappy .stay positive, but don't be afraid to complain .complain to the right people .set small and big goals, reward yourself when each is met. .keep in touch with friends .being independent could be lonely, but it is important .be ambitious, but not entitled .if you are nice to people and they are not nice back, it doesn't matter...that is their karma, not yours .eat healthy and smile often .exercise at your own pace .the real world is full of cynical, jaded people... always remember how you felt in college;naive and idealistic :0)
these are things i have learned,some are not yet in full practice. soon...
I don't want you to love me, love me. I just want you to want me. You suck at relationships whether you like to admit that or not, your selfish and you only see the world through your eyes. You don't have the ability to relate to how other people are feeling because to you feelings don't exist. Or maybe that feelings are something that can be overcome, and I agree they can. But you have to give people the benefit of working through their emotions. You can't just assume everyone is like you. You have an attention span and emotional range of a pencil.
I am done, smoking gun We've lost it all, the love is gone She has won. Now it's no fun We've lost it all, the love is gone
And we had magic And this is tragic You couldn't keep your hands to yourself
I feel like our world's been infected And somehow you left me neglected We found our life's been changed Babe, you lost me
And we tried, oh how we cried We lost ourselves, the love has died And oh, we tried, you can't deny We're left as shells, we lost the fight
Now I know you're sorry and we were sweet But you chose lust when you deceived me You'll regret it but it's too late How can I ever trust you again?
I feel like our world's been infected And somehow you left me neglected We found our life's been changed Babe, you lost me
In light of some recent discoveries on my part, I have started to seriously consider becoming a vegan. Now, I am not this huge animal rights activist...I'll leave that up to the animal lovers, not that I hate animals..I just don't have any attachments. What I care about are humans. I don't think animals should be treated the way they are, but technically we aren't even eating animals. We are eating genetically controlled and created species...that definitely don't exist because of evolution...these animals did not evolve to be huge, hormone, pesticide filled creatures, they were created to be such. They were created for mass production...and because Americans need everything, and they need it right now...people have had to resort to changing hundred year old traditions to accommodate the populations demands. Funny...how we can change this tradition, but touch the marriage tradition and people scream. But that is another subject entirely. Anyway, my consideration to becoming a vegan is because I am a typical American...I diet, but I don't change my lifestyle. I think I am in need of a food makeover...and as my research progresses I am finding the vegan lifestyle to be suitable. For instance...some good points that stick out in my mind are such: humans are the only species who drink milk after their mother's breast milk has run dry, and to make even more of a point...we don't even drink our own species milk, we drink another species...NO OTHER SPECIES does that! Milk is meant to grow babies bigger and stronger, but once they are done breast feeding it is no longer needed..this is why humans don't produce milk all the time. Oh its because we have evolved you say? riiggghhhttt....also, if farmers are pumping their animals with hormones, and hormones make us "bigger" and allow the animals to gain weight, then essentially we are also ingesting those hormones, making us gain weight. Not to mention the fact that pigs longest walks are to their deaths, and chickens are now genetically manufactured to be born without beaks, and cows are fed meat, even though they are herbivores. This is just some of the things I have read. I have been inspired recently to take a responsibility in what I am putting in my mouth. I think if people knew where, and how their food was being made...America wouldn't have the largest obesity population, and that diseases that have sprouted out because of obesity would cease to exist. We don't need "cures" or "diets"...we need education.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
if I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't
First off I would like to thank Marc and my sister for letting me be a part of their big day,and for those of you who know my sister, you know I never really had a choice. My entire life she has always been the quintessential big sister, bossing me around, telling me what to do, picking on me and all that...but fortunately she has always looked out for me too. Over the years we have been many different things to each other partners in crime, stylists, therapists, worst enemies and best friends. Sometimes I call her my second mom because she has truly influenced the woman I am today, and I try really hard to live my life in a way that my sister would be proud of. She has always been someone to lean on, blame things on, and learn from. I find myself thanking her in my dreams for making mistakes before i could so that I knew not to do them or simply how to get out of them. I could have never been the older sister. So thank you. We know each other in a way that only sisters who have shared a small bedroom for 18 years can..in that room there was a lot of laughing, a lot of crying, secret sharing, planning and fighting, you name it, we went through it together. And when she became a teenager and I became just the little sister who could never understand her world but wanted so badly to be apart of it, I did what any good little sister would do, I read her diary and used it as blackmail.
I remember adults would always tell us, as we were bickering that ONE day we would be best friends, but our biggest secret was, that we already were. She is the only person who I can be so angry with one minute, and the next be laughing with all in the same breath. Although we still fight and hit each other with brushes I know that one thing will always remain the same she will always love and support me, whether she likes me this week or not. I think that is what will make her a great wife. I could not have chosen a better man than Marc to share my best friend with. He is patient, understanding, kind, a former gaucho, and most importantly an excellent dresser. Marc is an amazing and rather brave man for committing his life to my sister. I am comfortable sharing her with you, but if I am sure of anything Marc I am sure of this, she will boss you around, clean at inappropriate times and always be late, but she will also always love you, support you, challenge you, comfort you and look out for you. Don't argue with her if she has a brush in her hand, don't steal her clothes, and don't ever be afraid that she will leave you because she spent years training you, and she doesn't take that lightly. Take care of each other and keep making each other better. Give your hearts to one another unconditionally because that is what true love really is..It is not this fairytale life that never knows pain, or sorrow but two souls facing it together and diminishing it with unconditional love. And to borrow some words from Shakespeare, Love is not love which alters when alteration finds, when life gets hard, when things change, true love remains the same. Everyone is here today to celebrate your love because they believe in you as a couple. So keep believing in each other, be kind to one another and lastly to a love that will not alter, Congrats and I love you both
I'm going to start a meeting for over thinkers anonymous...where all the over thinkers can just get together and explain to each other what situation they have over analyzed this week. hi, I'm krystal and I'm an over thinker. This week it's past relationships. A year ago I was in Brazil, determined to experience a new culture and a new life. I wanted my independence back, I needed it! I left with many goals, but one was to break free of a bad relationship, and to remind myself that my life will most certainly continue without him. Looking back a year, I have achieved most of what I wanted. I have my independence back, I'm free...and for the first time in 5 years I feel SINGLE. I WAS single, I have been single for a LONG time, but it never felt that way because I had so much hope...that if I was faithful and cared he would realize that I was his best option. I still am his best option, obviously, but I have taken myself out of the running...I quit. The reason all this is coming back into play, is now that I am at home and exposed to the temptations and the bad habits I have something I haven't had in a while...common sense and renewed freedom. My life DID continue without him, and I experienced a beautiful country, and beautiful men :) Realizing this I have opened up a lot, I am happier and more willing to experience new relationships...I know I have come so far because I can FINALLY look at the relationship and I'm not angry or sad. I am just glad I'm not wasting anymore time. It may have taken me too long to realize this, but I am so freaking happy TO BE BACK. bring it on world. single and ready to mingle.
sometimes life is so fun...it has its ups and downs and its lessons. do we really learn anything? or do we just pretend. I mostly pretend. Sometimes I wish life was just simple, and that we could explain it, but at times I don't think that would be any kind of fun. I went to dinner tonight with one of my best friends and her family....i'm always so apprehensive about calling her my best friend because we have had quite the relationship, but she truly is my best friend. We have seen each other at our worst and at our best. I trust her with everything i have...The thing about it is we have so many stories for us to share that it becomes repetitive. We can tell each others' stories, and we know how each other will react to certain situations without even asking. I bring this up because as I tell her a major thing that is going on in my life, she can already tell how I feel...or how i am going to react. I don't even need to tell her anything more than the facts. "A true friend is someone who knows there's something wrong even when you have the biggest smile on your face."
The longings for love, the search for knowledge, And unbearable pity for the suffering of [humankind].
Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness. In the union of love I have seen In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of [people]. I have wished to know why the stars shine.
Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens, But always pity brought me back to earth; Cries of pain reverberated in my heart Of children in famine, of victims tortured And of old people left helpless. I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, And I too suffer.
